Merry Christmas 2011

"God always see ordinary people that looks average for the mass but perfect in His eyes. I love Him for He sees me a different and excellent one when most of the people in this world never. Where can I find someone like Him, who knows everything about me, even the embarrassed one, sometimes I make mistakes but He forgives and loves me first before I was born to this world." I thank you Jesus, for your sacrifices, for your precious blood that shed on the cross just because you love me. Thank you, my Father in heaven, your love and your sacrifice moved a lot of people in this world. You are my God, I trust you my Lord. Amen!

December.. December, it's a joyous month as December is a month where every people around the world celebrate Christmas in remembrance of our Lord Jesus. Though a lot of people celebrate it just for the sake of fun, but soon they all will know what is it all about! You were born to die for us and to rise from death again.That is the greatest love of all, no other, not about Santa Claus, but You!

Looking forward to all the great things that going to happen in my future days!~Because you were born, I am saved and forgiven!Last but not least, Merry Christmas 2011, world!



Taken 2010, Portuguese Settlement, Melaka.

My Life in My Town

Its almost year end,been such a long and windy year. I fall down, I cried, I found my comfort, and I walked on. I am 23, and now the sealed memories suddenly knock my head with its dusty hand, asking me to look back on those times. I miss those old days, badly. Sad to know that all those people could only be one of my memories. How could I do to break the awkwardness and bring back the chemistry?



Saw rainbow in the town, I always get overwhelmed everytime I see it, it brings good feeling to me. Beautiful creation of God, I see hope from there. Though life is hard, but God will never fail to encourage us with hopes. So excited when I saw it, my friend stopped her car at the busy road side and let me snap some photos of it. Those uncles and aunties must be very mad at me, but why frown when life isn't that hard after all?

Muar is such a lovely place, though sometimes big news does happen, though sometimes got ah beng ah seng and Mat Rempit race their motorbike here, though sometimes those loaded uncles aunties fight against each other violently, though ah long and bukies gather in this place, but I see her cuteness, I still love her as my homeland.

I am so gonna do something for my company since I have just done with those annoying projects.Need an ideal work studio, need a good helper, need to settle down my company and I need to take a break and go travel! There are so many to-dos tapping feet restlessly queuing in my long awaiting list. Oh God, and I sneaked out to blog here!





My Temporary work space.I am loving it.

Lastly, (crap)I dreamt a dream, my housemie get married at her 26, that was a clear scene and I could still remember vividly the groom's face. Got up in the morning with smile on face, if this thing is going to happen after 3 years, I should then squeeze my brain juice and think back all those prophetic dreams I dreamt before, probably save some lives..=)

EAT PRAY LOVE

"I feel bad to see my best friend is not doing well in the other end. I feel bad when I realized that I didn't do anything to make her feel better."

Been so long since my last entry. Now it recalls me, the purpose of blogging for me was to make myself think that I am pathetic. And I realized that, those are redundant feeling that one should have. And now I find myself stuck in this writing traffic and I don't know what to write about realizing that I am feeling better that I don't think myself is pathetic and trap myself in that kind of melancholy anymore. Because I have lost the goal of being a pathetic blogger, so I am stucked. Funny huh?!

I hope that girl I cared about read this, because I am going to write her a grandmama story. I know that she is going to blame me for causing her insomnia in the coming one week and I hope one week is gonna be enough for her to let go of my murmurs.Haha!

EAT PRAY LOVE

This is a book written by Elizabeth Gilbert, is a book where I think it suits you so well because when I looked at you, you brought me back to the scenes from the words.

You are just like her, lost and thought that it was what you should do. You did things just to reach others' expectation. There's actually another you dwelling inside your mind, telling you that you still have your dream to pursue. But in reality, you backed off because of the another you living in the city think that "no, it is life."

And let me tell you the truth, if you don't step out for yourself, you will need to bear the fruits of it even if it tastes bitter, you still have to swallow it. You yourself know it well, you hate your life now. And you knew that you have to face all these things because you chose it. Do you really wish to continue this kind of life and continue blaming yourself and live with regrets after 10 years?

Everyone lives in this world are for different mission and for different purpose. Let me tell you another truth, many people are seeking for the answer about the meaning of life, but they will only figure out when they are about to rapture. We must live on, and live our life fullest because the meaning of life itself is for us to taste, for us to learn how to let go of sadness and the darkness side of us. Life is a very long battle, you can only have the victory after you able to leave every emotion behind and live on. Then you will find out that those negative thoughts and emotions are just something so tiny because more battles are coming, what for you stay in that small tiny part and keep telling on people how hard is your life if you never moved on? Everyone tastes the same thing, because that is the meaning of life.

So give yourself a break, seek for the long-lost joy. Have a cup of non caffeinated coffee, open up the seal and read the book that I will send to you sooner. I believe that you will like it!

*P.S. Still looking forward for your coming!

With Love.

Me ROAR!

I feel myself just like a lion cub which too used to be straying around downtown. nature is still nature for I won't go too far from who I am supposed to be. I am not tame, just not wild enough. I roar too, just not loud enough. What am I really doing now is to survive.

I am still fresh and timid, even a cat will beat me down anytime they want to. Falling is just the beginning of every success. As all the wild kids need to be trained wild from real battles. So I believe that one day, I will be standing on the peak and roar as loud as the world could hear.

I wont bite and I wont avenge. The day I become strong and tough will be the day I return to my kingdom. Returning home is not a dream, but a mission. Struggling hopping and roaring, one day I will be there to be put the throne on. My shield will he called Wisdom and my sword will be named Courage. I believe that God always has His plan on every outstanding ones. Thanks!:-)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

What else is yet to come? Bring it on!

God will open a big door for me, before that, I have to face everything that troubles me. This small town is my training ground. If I couldn't face the small people in this small town, then I am not ready yet to step into the big door.

From what He promised, from His message that motivated me to stay and to face those criticizes and to learn the people. I need their accusations and criticizes, so that I could learn and step forward faster to reach my door. I believe when the day come, I will be an excellent one. He raised me up, and taught me when I was lost and miserable. I felt so much relieved from His words, peacefulness is what I gained from Him when my life is so chaotic. With my utmost gratitude, I want to say, thank You!

What else is yet to come? Bring it on!

Blog with iPhone!!!

I am actually working but due to the 'Ideas Deprived Syndrome' that I'm currently having now, I decided to do something to kill my boredom.

Although I did complain and whine a lot about my phone. But I think that is reckon caused by the bad experience of getting it which make me felt so awkward. Btw I start liking it as iPhone is quite something. Its giving me a lot of fun and experimental attempts. I like this kind of device which I could actually explore a lot of fascinating functions so I won't get bored.

So, I am trying to blog with this phone to see if it works. At first, I couldn't type anything on the content column, after umpteen attempts, I found myself a little stupid as no matter how awesome this device is, it is still a friggin phone!! Grrrgh......! But this failure doesn't stop me. I download an application called 'iBlog', that actually allow me to blog!

and TADDAHHH! here I am blogging with my phone!

However, picture posting for Blogger is not available yet, which is the disappointing part of it. But it will soon release in the future I believe.

In a nutshell, it's cool and easy to blog with this application on iPhone! Thought of posting some pictures but it seems could only be seen on the next entry.

chiaoz!

P.S. I love iPhone!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

I am long-winded, and I wanna complain

AND I just realized that today is the last day of Chinese New Year, and I didn't really enjoy this festive this year. Why is it when every time people happily celebrating with a lot of fun and meaningful gatherings and activities but I got knocked by the works and troubles? Seriously 'potong steam' lorh!

Attending a talk on 12th and 13th March at Johor Bahru, held by my Taiwanese friend, is also a tutor of mine titled, 'From Good to Great!' . I hope that talk will really motivate me into a greater one. LOL. Who is interested can always contact me.

The ticket price is RM 300 per person, inclusive of accommodation and meals.

Got myself an iPhone 4, and I thought I would never get this phone, but then I bought it. That is a spell, definitely a spell and it hits me. I waited for 3 months plus, and finally I got it from Mac City, Melaka. Then run here and there, swayed here and there to sign contracts, convert my current maxis plan, take cash from ATM (because my card failed to work for me, damn it!)After 5 hours, I finally got that. That really irritates me, walking under the sun, from mall to malls to get that shit done. And I gotta tolerate with all that, because that is an 'iPhone', no jokes okay!

Had my pre-valentine's day dinner at Movida, is a very nice restaurant with good service and super yummy food, the only bad thing is the environment, smoky like a heaven-wannabe! I love heaven for sure, but not smoky heaven and I believe heaven is clean and wonderful with fresh air!

and YAY, I got an iPhone......

That is the shit thing about it but what to do, its an 'iPhone'!!!

Chinese New Year and the Engagement Dinner

This year is the most boring, most surprising and also the poorest Chinese New Year ever!

Less Ang Pow from aunties and uncles this year, guess it was because of the economy and political crisis in country. But heard that they rode on plane and had flied to other country for Chinese New Year, where the place has better Chinese New Year ambient than Malaysia. Although its true but I was hoping to get more Ang Pows to cover my losses. Damn it!

I was like giving my money out to people smiling damn like a 'Chai Shen Ye" (God of Prosperity), used up my luck and I am feeling so broken. But since it only happens once in a year, and I told myself: It's okay, those are the 'suey' money which I don't really need them! FML

Then 2 good news!!

Gong xi Siu Lai and Jun Jun, my lovely Uni croonies! They are walking down to the aisle soon! I like to join them for tournament always, but not for this 'Wedding Aisle Cup'. God, they are digging their own graves--- Marriage?!! Are you seriously serious with your seriousness??

Just my drama, but I truly hope both of them could live happily and superglue with their hubbies so closely forever!!!

Kelly: Both of us will be getting old and become old spinsters one day, Sob Sob Sob....T.T

Their engagement rings

Brother Jitt knees down for Liyuen, so sweet!!

Oww, manisnyer!

Going-to-be bride put the ring on the Going-to-be bridegroom's finger.

Cross Arms Toast!

The couple

Four of us!! I look drunk =.=

The brothers of Bridegroom and the sistas of bride. * and the fat arm of me* T.T

Lastly, message to Brother Jitt,

be my Siu Lai's lifetime companion, don't ever make her feel lonely. Grant her the best you could provide, understand her feeling so that you will not hurt her. Every woman needs a man who will never let her down; a successful man is not to judge from how successful he is in career with uncountable wealths or social status, a successful man provides trust and security to his woman so she could rely on him and lean on him. Hold her hand tight and walk through every obstacles in life. I pray for both of you a good future, and I pray for your marriage. Hold the hands and grow old together, LALALALlalalala!

Ramona and Beezus

Movie that I recently watched, RAMONA AND BEEZUS. How I find it a nice film? I would say, it brings a lot of surprises to me as a viewer. It keeps us brainstorming what will happen next on the super extraordinary girl, Ramona. It also brings us a lot of our childhood memories. I was once a Ramona, and I guess a lot of you was like Ramona, a troublemaker and cause riot wherever she goes. Full of fantasies and inborn comedy actress.Haha.

Selena Gomez as Beezus and Joey King as Ramona. Look at Selena, she is so beautiful.

It is also the best bedtime story.

Beezus: Who could ever love a girl named Beezus?!

Ramona: Jesus?

Love every scene in this film, is a "must-catch" movie for everyone. Not only a comedy, but a warm and "happy ever after" awesome life portrayed story. Want to know more about its awesomeness? Catch it now!

一条每个人都不该走的路

怨这个社会黑暗，所以所做的每一件事情，都是逼不得已的。有这种想法的人，其实还好，至少他们还知道自己所做的一切，是违法的，是错的。只是在替自己找借口。

对，是，没有错！这个社会很黑暗，我们生活在一个明争暗斗的社会，应该保护人民的人，却是最迫害人民的。应该奉公守法的人，因为这世界的黑暗，选择赌一赌自己的性命。我听他们说，私会党，黑社会， 他们所谓的帮会，才是帮助人民解围的。是这样吗？走私水货，贩毒，高利贷，都是解救人民的做法吗？我那天狠狠地丢了一句话：“不要跟我谈黑社会，他们已经不是人了。”虽然也觉得自己说得太重了，但我不得不这样认为。因为我的生活，就是被这一切所摧毁的。

或许，从前的帮会，真的是讲义气，为弱势讨回公道的。时代变迁，曾经不谈利益的帮会，变得只谈利益。曾经为的是持强扶弱的帮会，现在为了帮助你渡过难关，放高利贷。为了帮你减轻压力，教唆你服用毒品。为了帮助你不被父母责骂，替你掩盖你所犯的错，因为那叫做义气！

我不能说每个私会党员都是这样的，但发生在我身边的，就是这样。若只是个人认为不服气，想去替朋友讨回公道，那种心态，至少是单纯的想帮助朋友。挂着自己帮会的名字替别人出头的人，他们也非常的单纯，因为他们是一群被利用的小跑腿，来替帮会招收会员，打响名声。为的只是利益。

他们荼毒中学生，利用他们想要惩威风的心态，玩弄一些课题，比如，为华人争一口气，不向政府势力低头，或是，能更快更轻松得到很高的酬劳。鼓励他们加入私会党，当这些思想不成熟的青少年得到了一点甜头或帮助，觉得他们很讲义气，便会更积极地为帮会付出，甚至放弃学业。

这一些青少年，都是属于患有过动症的青少年。他们很容易被摆布，被利用，也非常容易误入歧途。在我身边，就有好几个这样的例子，他们都是被荼毒的。无论你怎么劝，他们就是有他们自己一套的想法，认为他们没错，错的是这个社会。我只能说，像这样的青少年，只能够待他们自己踢到铁板，或是被人摆了一道后，得到自己的后果时，才懂得后悔，想要回头。如果踏得并不深，还能够回头，但若不能够醒觉而越陷越深，这就是一条他们永远都得不到快乐的不归路。

不要认为是别人害自己走上这条路而痛苦，想一想最当初，是什么让他们无法回头。答案往往都是，自己的选择。当我们还能选择自己要走的路时，请想一想后果。不要怪罪他人，不要认为是别人的陷害，面对自己。这样，就算曾经做错过让自己懊悔，当我们选择去面对时，那颗心，就已经得到喜乐了。

我们生活在这样的一个社会里，不仅仅是大马，全世界各地都有同样的腐败。但做人嘛，别总认为这个社会很丑陋，所以自己才会变得这样。请想一想，因为有这种想法的人，才会有越来越多心里充满怨恨的人及贪图利益的人，这个社会才会越来越腐败。推崇腐败的，不就是自己吗？这是一种恶性循环，父母认为，犯法是因为逼不得已，孩子就会认为这一切都没错。那我们的下一代，会有光明的一天吗？抱着赤子般的心，面对这个社会，只要相信这世上好人还很多，适当地提防，不怨不恨，我们的心自然能够得到平静。我们活着，难道就只是为了那一口气吗？为了自己，为了下一代，别再走错路了！

献给：

家人及朋友。

祝福。

My childhood dreams (not really) but miscellaneously crap

Randy Pausch (October 23, 1960 – July 25, 2008)

"You just have to decide if you're going to be a Tigger or an Eeyore"(Pausch).

Well, I would say, I have both Tigger and Eeyore in me. It depends on what kind of situation I am in. Most of the time, I am a Pooh. Can I say like that ar?

I watched this clip couple years ago, and I have almost forgotten this man. This is a very right timing, that this clip appeared to me again today. Because I was thinking about my life this morning while I was showering. I thought a lot this morning, about my life, my work and everything that I dreamed to have it but it never happened by me.

In life, in the past of the 23 years, I have done nothing, although I thought of doing many things but all failed. This is devastatingly happened again and again in my life. I am a dreamer, I often dreamed of a lot of strange and outrage things. I used to be a troublemaker since I was little, and I used to be a debater since I was able to speech. I was a different kid, I destroyed toys, I asked 100 of questions a day, I fell down almost every week and I was the main character of every embarrassing incident in my childhood life. I was being boycotted by my same ages and my sisters, nobody sees me as a splendid kid, but I see myself a different one. =)

They laughed at me, thought I was a weirdo. Yes, I was. Because I used to act and say something weird and funny. That was my childhood, with anger, tears and silence. My companions are always me and myself, I always believe that I will be a different one, so I never got upset because of their 'green eyes' on me. One thing I found myself good is, I always know how to comfort myself with Ah Q's, because I am a Chinese!

BUT NOW

I think I have slowly forgot who I wanted myself to be. I have become someone that I couldn't even recognize myself. This is bad. I don't know if that was because I forgot my dreams, or I have just realized that sometimes, we just have to do less to make our lives happier. Nehh I don't wanna be a superwoman or a billionaire, I just wanted to be a person with wisdom and good thinking. But what have I done?!

I must start doing what I wanted to do all these whiles. I want a change in my life, there's no rooms left for me to waste more time. Been thinking of quitting, then I think I should plan and do it right away. I wanna be a Tigger now, don't stop me. Haha

A Designer

Designers are still design-ners and they are neither superman nor superwoman.

10 Things That Designers Can't Do ( Basically talking about myself)

1) Think less

Undeniably true! Designers think a lot in both logical and illogical ways. Because they have a lot of pictures in their minds, perfect ones and imperfect ones (because they tend to seek for the perfection from the imperfect thingy). They could be very paranoid sometimes when they feel something go wrong.

2) Sleep well

Because they think too much, so they cant really get to sleep very easily when suddenly some ideas pop up in their minds. There has no such thing of 'no works after 6pm' for designers, because they are working every second except when they are sleeping dead.

3) Not to get blamed

They are just barely an human-shield. Used to prevent the penetration of weapons, they are always the middle one, good tool to be used while having misinterpretation with clients. So basically, designers have bad reputation in anyway. However, they are probably the useless shield ever as they cant stand to get blamed too much. They are made by flesh for Goodness sake!

4) Work on time

Designer can't work when u ask them to work. They work when they have ideas of how to work.

5) Get up on time

They work all the time, even when they are sleeping, they could dream their ideas too. So don't ever think they sleep too much, because they can't rest much too!

6) Being myself

Designers sometimes, for living, they bow to reality, that they could only do what people request them to. And most of them time, they didn't even know the definition of design and the job scope of a designer. Sketcher or painter probably?

7) Tolerate with ridiculous situation

What is the ridiculous situation a designer could never ever bear with? Answer is, when the concept was Japanese and end up become African. Ridiculous not?

8) 'I'm ok!'

Designer is not hypocrite people, they can't tell you that they are okay when they are actually not. The most they could tell is, 'I don't wanna talk anymore! ' Fuhhhyoor!

9) Tell the value of their works

Designers hate it when people ask how much does the sketch costs. And they hate the most while people exclaim:" Walao, why so expensive?!" Please note that, there has no market price for design, your quality of life is the thing that matters.

10) Stop thinking of quitting their jobs

Thing that will always come to their mind is, ' I have had enough, I want a quit!'

ARRRRRGHHH!~

All Good Things

Caught a movie, 'All Good Things'. This film was inspired by the most notorious missing person’s case in New York history since 1982 to 2000.

ALL GOOD THINGS is a love story and murder mystery set against the backdrop of a New York real estate dynasty in the 1980s. Produced and directed by Andrew Jarecki (director of the Academy Award-nominated doc Capturing the Friedmans and producer of Catfish). This film was inspired by the mysterious unsolved missing person case happened between Robert Durst, scion of the wealthy Durst family and his wife. Mr. Durst was suspected but never tried for killing his wife Kathie who disappeared in 1982 and was never found. The film stars Ryan Gosling, Kirsten Dunst and Frank Langella as the powerful patriarch, and captures the emotion and complexity of this real-life unsolved mystery (extracted from http://www.magpictures.com/allgoodthings/).



Robert Durst, the main character of this true story was suspected suffering from Schizophrenia, and was believed it was because he witnessed his mother's suicidal when he was little. Where he found himself not guilty on the disappearance of his wife, and the dead of his best friend and his next door folk. The only thing that he admitted at was, he did not kill his next door folk but unintentionally caused him dead to self-defense while he was attacked by the folk. And he only found himself guilty on the wrongful of dismembering the body instead of lodging police at first.

I dug out the story behind the film after watching it, as it was a true story. I was curious to know how Robert Durst look like, and also his wife. Although it was a little creepy when I found out more and more, but that reminds me of some people around me. Defend themselves innocently and find a lot of excuses that prove themselves innocent and act a lot to convince people that they had never done so. This is driving me insane, I don't know who to trust, and I don't wanna accuse them wrongly. Scared that I will also be trapped into the Schizophrenia symptom.

So, God, only You know the truth. I believe that You will reveal the truth one day, as I am Your child, You will let me see things crystal clear, so that I will learn. Thank You Lord, for letting me see some true colors, so that I learn how to cope with the worst situation, under Your arms, I learned how to be strong. And God, cure the broken hearts, for only You, the one and only God who could cure. Make them know the greatness of You, understand You and love You. In the name of Jesus, Amen.

01012011

01012011

Slept at 5 plus in the morning and got up at 7 something again as I need to welcome the coming of this brand new year and also to welcome the presence of God into my new life. I looked into window and welcome the presence of God, and I prayed.

Regarding the prophecy on me, 2011 will be a very tough year for me. I should take everything easy and take everything as message which God gonna let me know. I believe God has His plan for me, tough time over are to make me stronger. I shall give it all to Him, for He is the only one who could help and to rely on.

I thank God for the blessing on me. The end of 2010 doesn't write the end, but its another beginning of my life. Full of challenges and hardships yet I believe everything will be just fine for He, will be looking after me and bring me thru every obstacles.





For my loved ones, and people around me,

Please forgive me, if I ever done anything that hurt your feeling, and my mistakes that brought you into chaos. Please forgive me for what I have said and done that is not truth and emotional. I appreciate you all, the true loves.