My childhood dreams (not really) but miscellaneously crap

Randy Pausch (October 23, 1960 – July 25, 2008)

"You just have to decide if you're going to be a Tigger or an Eeyore"(Pausch).

Well, I would say, I have both Tigger and Eeyore in me. It depends on what kind of situation I am in. Most of the time, I am a Pooh. Can I say like that ar?

I watched this clip couple years ago, and I have almost forgotten this man. This is a very right timing, that this clip appeared to me again today. Because I was thinking about my life this morning while I was showering. I thought a lot this morning, about my life, my work and everything that I dreamed to have it but it never happened by me.

In life, in the past of the 23 years, I have done nothing, although I thought of doing many things but all failed. This is devastatingly happened again and again in my life. I am a dreamer, I often dreamed of a lot of strange and outrage things. I used to be a troublemaker since I was little, and I used to be a debater since I was able to speech. I was a different kid, I destroyed toys, I asked 100 of questions a day, I fell down almost every week and I was the main character of every embarrassing incident in my childhood life. I was being boycotted by my same ages and my sisters, nobody sees me as a splendid kid, but I see myself a different one. =)

They laughed at me, thought I was a weirdo. Yes, I was. Because I used to act and say something weird and funny. That was my childhood, with anger, tears and silence. My companions are always me and myself, I always believe that I will be a different one, so I never got upset because of their 'green eyes' on me. One thing I found myself good is, I always know how to comfort myself with Ah Q's, because I am a Chinese!

BUT NOW

I think I have slowly forgot who I wanted myself to be. I have become someone that I couldn't even recognize myself. This is bad. I don't know if that was because I forgot my dreams, or I have just realized that sometimes, we just have to do less to make our lives happier. Nehh I don't wanna be a superwoman or a billionaire, I just wanted to be a person with wisdom and good thinking. But what have I done?!

I must start doing what I wanted to do all these whiles. I want a change in my life, there's no rooms left for me to waste more time. Been thinking of quitting, then I think I should plan and do it right away. I wanna be a Tigger now, don't stop me. Haha