Live Excellently!

It's been really a long time since my last wrote, it's been very long time I couldn't even set myself free to think, to feel and to relax.Those are something which I am not allowed to do in my current life. I always remind myself, that I have more and more to do, instead of emotionally think of the other matters for my future.

My life is so unsecured, I dare not to sleep in the place where I am not comfortable with, I afraid of one day just after I fell asleep and I could never wake up again. Even in the dream, when I noticed I was in a dream, I called my name repeatedly waking myself up from the fake scene. I need to make my mind clear all the time, I need to pinch myself or even scold myself vulgarly, to make sure my mind is ready for everything. A storm, a thunder or a heavy rain will freak me out especially when I was asleep.

The miserable experiences in my life are not backing me off. The only thing that make myself weak is my own principle, which I will never bow to the golden feces. I don't love money, it is the most evil thing in this world. Money is created because of humans greediness and selfishness. What makes me today, is the ugliness of humans behavior and the stinkiness of money. What is there I could do more for myself? The answer is no, nothing. I must bow to the money, because I want to make a change to my life.

Once, I thought myself is intelligent enough to see through the true color behind the skin, and yes, I am really that capable to do so, but people change. I forgot, everything will change from time to time, both ups and downs change a person to another person. That's enough, I won't ever give a shit on what is right or what is wrong in my life, I want myself back. Mourning for my dead soul, I have been asking myself, why am I doing all these things which I dislike about? Responsibilities tied me over the things which I hate the most.

There are people I should care about, I couldn't run away from them, because of the responsibility. I owe to them, such a heavy word, but that is true. I wish I could live excellently, live for the real meaning of my life. Before I could make it, I must make it happen on the life of everyone around me. I could give up on lipsticks, mascara and branded shoes, just to invest the money on your dream.

What I was always nagging on you is not because I was eating your heart out, I just wanted you to seek of the meaning of your life. I want you to live excellently, don't have to bother what people has doubted about you, just do yourself, find out who you are and who you want to be.

All the responsibilities I have been carrying, is not about praises and awards to ask from you. I willing to carry everything for you, just want you to find out your own life by yourself. To seek out what is the most important thing that you should do now. I want you to be very alert on everyone in this world, just in case if one day, I am no longer there for you, so I am here now to remind you. Go, go for your life, a positive and healthy way which could lead you to a brighter future! I could sacrifice mine for you, just need your cooperation to make it happen. I don't know how much in this letter you would really bear in mind, but I must say before everything is too late.

Do not respect money, materials and power, but respect your own success and be our proud!

To my younger sisters and brother who still have a long way to go in their lives.
I wish they could live better than me, do things they really passion about, and be loved because of their excellences!


Loved
Y'alls 3rd Sis